9. "Friends,a form of sanctity"

My Deary,
When everything in your life goes wrong,whatever you try to do ends up in failure,nothing works for you,every situation seems complicated,you are confused,clueless and helpless,you feel you are jinxed and a big Loser,God comes to your rescue and the form He takes is called FRIEND!!
Yesterday my assignment turned out to be a disaster!!Afterall what can you expect when your assignment partner takes you to places where usually dates take you.I guess Vikram took the word "Partner" too seriously!!For 1 whole week I had been going to restaurants,farmhouse,movie halls,private gaming zone and even a tree house and pub to complete my assignment!! And on top of that Vikram is a big showoff.Instead of working on the project he would discuss his bank balance,his cars and bikes,gaming devices,gadgets and what not."You know I don't like people touching my belongings but you can..afterall you are too special",he grinned.I felt like hitting him with those but instead I smiled back.What to do,I'm kind of shy outside my friend circle.May be this is the reason people say I'm very sweet.But the day before yesterday I finally said,"Look I want to complete my project and if you don't wish to do then I'm leaving,its already very late".He looked at his watch and said,"Oh its just 8 and by the way did you see my watch?Its a Rado,you know swiss made,last time when I went there I just picked it up randomly.Its good,isn't it?"He again smiled.But that was too much so I replied,"You know what,I've been to Switzerland,twice and I know watches are really really CHEAP there",emphasising on the word cheap and that just zipped his mouth.I called Arjun to my house and he left around 2am after helping me with the assignment.But when Botoxy asked Vikram some questions about the assignment he did not answer.He's so mean.Arjun already explained him everything but he did this.Such a Loser!
However today was one of the happy days.Early in the morning a high pitched voice shouted "DEBU" deafening everyone present in the class,"My darling,sweetheart,jaan,my shona my babu,I AM BACK!!!"We all turned around to see not so 'Abla Bharatiya Nari' (the way a typical Indian woman is addressed as) Ms. Savitri Sundari Ghosh(No its not the name of the whole village)."OMG,Savy!!" I responded with the famous girly scream "aaahhhhhh" and went running to her in a way which you can find in typical bolly movies.I hugged her and Radhika joined in."So how was Singapore?",I asked."Chuck that.This time I got a really good collection of pics on the beach,even better than yours and I can bet even Radhika will be impressed this time",she winked.(Before anybody goes under the impression that we have seriously  the talent of photography in us,let me tell you last year when I went to Paris,instead of taking photos of the beautiful city,I clicked pictures of the hot guys I was checking out and some of them I was stalking as well and later when I came back we rated the guys out of 10 :D).Radhika and I giggled and Rads commented,"You people are seriously perverts".
So now I'm leaving for the sleepover party at Savy's place and I know that things have fallen into place because I have the most special form of God that is my friends with me :D

8."All you need is love!!"

My Deary,
Love is blind,consuming and selfish.It makes people vulnerable and often one's greatest weakness.But if love all this why does everyone try this hard  finding love?

I woke up and found a note saying "I am leaving for a conference for the next two days,dont make a mess of the house.Love Mom".This was the first time she left town without meeting me.I called her just to make sure if she had already boarded the flight or maybe just to make a converstion cause I was afraid she was drifting away from me.Picking up the phone she said"Ya i was expecting you to call,now listen don't disturb me in the meeting tomorrow,this one is vey important for the company"."Everything is important for you mom except your daughter" I replied in frustuation.She said in a irritated way"Ohh please dont make a fuss of it,if you would start acting like my daughter.,then only you would have earned my love" .I cut the phone without listening to her further.I tried to concentrate on the brighter part,today each pair for the english assignment was supposed to show their hard work or may I say the ppt.Varun did the whole ppt and I hardly contributed a bit of my mind to it.

Debika picked me up for school and soon I forgot all about mum's bitter words.As soon as I reached school I asked Varun about if the project was ready.And he said smilingly"Yeah! definitely we are going to be  the best".Now Varun and I knew each other pretty well.He lived with his separated mother.At the age of 2 years his father  left them.It was hard on them then but now life was pretty smooth for them.Suddenly he was asked to take a call from his home in princy's office. He came back to class and handing me a CD he said "I have to go.please fill me in,I know you will be fine,bye".

It took a moment for me to process everything.I was completely clueless about the presentation,how could I  talk about it in front of the whole class? Morever I was worried about him.So I went running after him and shouted"Hey,whats wrong? and I really can't do this".He immediately turned back and said"My mom needs me but I know you will be nothing but the best" and he left in a hurry.I came back to class nervously."Radhika Ambhore Chatterjee" called out botoxy.I was having a panic attack but suddenly Varun's words came to my ears and I knew I could do this and I ended doing pretty well.

I went to ask his friend about him.He said his mom was in hospital.I went to see him after school.His mom found out about his dad and his family's arrival in town and she was not feeding herself enough.So she collapsed due to low pressure.I asked him if he was fine.But knowing the kind of person he is,he will always prefer to be alone in this downfall.I stayed with him for the next 2 hours.We didn't uttter a single word.We just stared at the floor and occasionaly at each other.Finally he said "you can go,mom will be fine,she has always been a warrior,don't worry".I could see their unbreakable love and I guess this was the only thing that kept going for these years.I replied "No,I wanna stay".His mom had gained consciousness."Varun,you ok?"-this was her words when she woke up.And I left them being unnoticed in their reconcilation.

This was  love everyone talks about,be it between a child & a mother or a brother & a sister or between two lovers or two friends.Love is supposed to be unconditional,one never has to earn it ,it is overwhelming but it is the only thing that gives the strength to go through life.
I guess Debika's constant support,love and care gave me that strength.

7. "So..what is love to you?"

My Deary,
Now that life has become boring once again and nothing great to write about I've decided to write on a kind of important and yet unimportant at times or rather to some people which we were discussing today in the breaktime-Love!!
So first Radhika spoke up."For me love is something which makes one weak making the person unable to think practically and eventually leading to one's downfall.People lose themselves and when they try to find themselves again,its too late.So for me its a disease which is almost near to fatal".All paused for a while and then burst out laughing.Such a scientific answer was only expected from Radhika.But I know the real reason behind her anti-love theories.From her childhood she was always deprived of love so she always pretends to be practical about it though from inside she wishes for a "fairytale" love story.
Then it was Anjali's turn."I would agree with Radhika.It's a very negative feeling.It keeps you from doing what you wish to do,it restricts you.It takes away your freedom,it makes you weep,lament and finally a sadist.It just takes you from yourself".After breaking up with Akash,a super possessive boyfriend who had a problem with everything and doubted her for no reasons,Anjali couldn't have come up with anything better.Arjun said that it wasn't "true" love,it was just an infatuation,but making Anjali understand anything at that point of time was difficult.Krish,Arjun's cousin,who has a crush on Anjali,spoke up."Love is a special feeling.It's giving away the thing you love the most to someone else just to keep that possession  happy and you can feel happiness in the sacrifice as well.But it is the same feeling which can furiate you when your sacrifice is not worthwhile and that is the time you have to fight to get back your finest possession."Radhika gave a grinny look to me and I started giggling.
Then finally I spoke up."Love is a relative feeling.." and people started laughing."Will you fools listen to me!!" and they were quiet..listening to me or at least pretending.Actually I was kind of speaking in a serious tone,something which was so not me."So nobody knows exactly what it is.But I believe love cannot be differentiated into true or fake,love is love,that's it.Love doesnot hurt or recover,its the people who claim to be in love do so.It is a wonderful feeling which leads you to positivity making the best out of you." I was shocked to see the expression on their faces.They were all impressed,after all who was talking..haha :D
Arjun said,"Love is finding happiness in small things and the most important part of it is the friendship between the two people.It is spending time with that person no matter what insignificant thing you are doing.You fight then you make up for the fight,you try to do something which that person likes just to make her happy.Its not giving up on that person and facing every situation together.Its making every possible attempt to let that person stay."
We concluded our somehow philosophical conversation with him.Earlier whenever we talked on this topic he would say love is not his thing,flirting simply works for him."I don't need any commitments to speak my heart out,I just need you to listen to me whenever I am down." and I would say,"I regret that I told you that you can always count on me." :P and then he'll say,"I love you my bandit queen" and hug me.But today he said something entirely different.He's spending a lot of time with Cheryl and I just pray its not her because he deserves someone much better...

6. Only if it was "All's well that begins well"!!

My Deary,
The very famous proverb,"All's well that ends well",I can't relate to this all the time.Like when my exams get over and my marks are too poor,I get so dissapointed.I stop eating,stay alone,stop watching television and I start with my studies as if I am the most ardent devotee of my books which are even impossible to carry with one arm.But as time passes by,the "I'll do very well this time" feeling dissipates and finally fades away.Only if the proverb was "All's well that begins well",my life would have been the perfect one because most of the things I do,dont end well.Today was one of such days which remind me of my very own version of the proverb which sometimes makes sense and sometimes doesn't.
Radhika didn't stay for a sleep-over last night(I knew she wanted to meet her mum but denied it) so as expected,I forgot to put the alarm on(she loves my family and tries to spend maximum time with them).My books were all over my bed.Radhika was supposed to pack them!!!I rushed for school but I was late.I was going to get a big scolding from princy but my saviour,The Great Arjun Khanna,my fatty,saved me.
Soon after the break we had our literature class but I didn't want to attend.Anjali needed to talk to me.Arjun,unlike other classes was attending this one.He didn't like to miss Botoxy's classes.I don't know what's wrong with this woman.It looks like she eats botox,drinks botox,bathes,sleeps and dresses up in botox.One should see the way she smiles,PATHETIC!!! and today she was indeed smiling..yes yes some 'interestingly' stupid assignment.And to add to the stupidity,she started with another weird(but less weird than her) game where half of the class had to pick up a name from the other half written in chits.I hoped that Radhika picked my name but instead she got some Varun Chawla's name.But at least Arjun picked up my name.I was more than happy.Arjun will do everything.I'll just go to his house and watch daily soap with aunty and maybe gossip(his mother got a funny accent,well its punjabi but she speaks bengali in that accent :P)
But whoever said happy times don't last long was so correct.Botox aunty finally spoke up in her fake American accent,"Debby-kha..you will be doing with Vikram,he needs your help and Cheryl will be with Arjun".I was flabbergasted but I knew protesting will be useless.Vikram,a rich brat,goodfornothing loser who was stalking me since class 8.He must have bribed Botoxy.and yea about Cheryl,she was mini botoxy.She had a fake latin accent!!All the clowns are in our school or what!!Arjun knew that I was angry.I said,"You could have protested.Don't you understand she is trying to get her daughter married to you?!!"."no problem,she's hot",he joked but I gave a sarcastic look."Okay listen Dolly didi is getting married so if you want to attend it you have to pardon me",he warned me.He knows very well that coming from a bengali family where in the name of sophistication,the weddings are full of boredom,how much I love Punjabi weddings.Loud music,dance and food(though in this criterion,bengali cuisine is better for me),so much like me.I finally smiled."sometimes I wonder we are best friends just because you get to attend the big fat weddings",he said and we burst out laughing.But still I am in a bad mood....

5. "When it isn't like it should be"

My Deary,

"RADHIKAA!" screamed my mom at the top of her voice interrupting my beautiful dream.I opened my eyes and saw her standing with her usual deadpan expression."Don't you have school to go? c'mon get up,don't waste my time".I said"Oh! so you remember you have a daughter mom? anyway what brings you to my room leaving all your important work"."Now please don't start your melodrama! I just came to inform you I am going to Mumbai for a conference meeting and would return tomorrow,Mohan will be here to help you"she said and left my room.Usually people miss their parents in these occasions but I didn't as it made no difference to me.Dad worked out of town most of the time and mom in her 'busy' life gave me no chance to know them.Mohan kaka played a great role in my life as he had always been there for me since I was an infant.I started out as being quiet,shy,introvert,scared loner but I soon  realized I had to be the opposite to face this tough mean world.Becoming one of the most popular girls in school was easy but finding true friends was a difficult task for me.Debika,my closest friend never let me realize the absence of a family.At first I was jealous of her as she had the most loving family who knew how to find hapiness even in most difficult times  but how could I be jealous of someone whom I loved the most and now I was considered a part of  this spirited family.I sometimes wonder if there is a motherly concern behind my mom's bitter words,if my parents could also give me love with money.I stopped my train of thoughts as soon as I saw  the clock ,7.30 it was and there was no way I could miss school that day as Anjali(one of my good friends) needed me .I somehow managed to reach school on time.At first I thought it must be tough for Anjali to break a relationship  of  three long years but Anjali and Aakash  never really  were so much in love or passionate for each other.I knew them both very well,they fought  day & night ,and later talked to each other just for the sake of their relationship.They both were more happy now.Maybe Everything does happen for a reason.

I along with my friends were gossiping about our juniors in the canteen,suddenly I felt someone was watching me.I looked around and caught a guy staring.He immediately started talking with his friend.I was suprised that I did not know him or his friend as I thought I knew everyone in the school."Never mind! must be  newbies" I thought to myself.We were chatting in the class before our english teacher BOTOX QUEEN(short form:botoxy) came,miraclously.I saw  that same guy with his friend entering my class.I wondered how could he be in my class.Botoxy came with an inscrutable look and we all knew what it meant.She was upto some "interesting" assignment.Half of the class was made to write their names on a piece of paper and the rest was supposed to pick those sheets as to decide the partners for the next assignment.I was waiting and hoping for one of my friends to be my partner.Unfortunately,it was that same guy and his name was Varun Chawla.I fought with my mom early morning and  was supposed to do a project on a clueless topic with a complete stranger who is supposedly in my class but never existed before today.The day was getting worse by minute and I just wished to get done with this unlucky day....

4. The prelude of a never ending solidarity :D

My Deary,
There's a famous quote "U can't decide who your family members or relatives will be,its upto God but you have the total liberty to choose your friends.So choose them wisely".But on the contrary  when I got her,wisdom was an unknown term and applying it was out of question(though I don't claim I apply it now :P).I didn't know what friendship was.First day in kindergarten,I was excited,she was scared,I was looking around and found her crying in one of the corners where she was seated.Without thinking anything I went to her and gave her a piece of the chocolate that Daddy bribed me so that I behave like a good girl in school.(oh come on we were only 4 then).She took the chocolate but didn't utter a word.In those days eating tiffin among a bunch of people who looked like me but seemed like aliens was very scary and the break time was the most boring part of school(but its just the opposite now,we finish tiffin even before the break starts and during the break,we get busy cracking cheap jokes!!! :D).I had to sit with a round and fat ball of mass,Arjun,a total bully who pinched me during classes.I would give him an annoyed look but he would only grin with his cheeks all red.A few days later,we were all playing in the field when the fatty acid suddenly pushed me from behind and I fell down.I cried out in pain.When I looked back I saw that girl started beating him with a twig and in seeing a partner to help me I joined in.We three had to hold our ears and stand outside the class.I didn't know that I was supposed to say "Thank you" instead I asked her one of the few things I had learnt recently,"What you name?".Raa..dee..kaaww...she stammered and from that day Radhika and I started sitting together,then only in class and now in movie halls,cars,trains,buses,flights,tuitions,parlours and everywhere.Yes we are the "best friends for more than forever".It started with a piece of chocolate and now from shoes to clothes,crushes to stalkers,gloomy times to fun times,heart breaks to heart attacks,punishments to awards,crying to laughing,falling down to getting up,WE SHARE EVERY LITTLE THING!!! and now that she knows about the diary thing,I don't know it was the pink cover or the 'self-discovery' thoughts...yes,you guessed it right,I have to share this as well!! :P I know its so weird but this is the most special thing about our friendship.So this diary will be written by two people who have vowed to take every step together and be with each other in every journey..and this writing a diary is no less than a journey.So let me introduce her.She is a soft-spoken reserved girl,a natural beauty,simple and elegant,sober but a full on lunatic,a mixture of pragmatism and idealism...she is the perfect bestie!!!
And yeah if you are wondering what happened to the fatty acid,he is no more fat,he has abs now,he's the hotty in school with all the bimbos after him,he is the school captain and loved by all and what is worse?? He is our best friend!!!!

3. Up close and personal!!

My Deary,
Fish at every meal,Rabindra sangeet at the functions,Mohun Bagan in the field,Roshogolla (not rasgulla) in the plate,I'm Debika Roy,yes a bong.
Things that define me follow:
1)I'm a seventeen year old school going kid...girl...a big girl.
2)I'm fond of talking but I keep quiet when I eavesdrop into hot gossips.
3)I'm a big foodie..and what..I'm thin!!! Genetics..sometimes not a good stuff but at least it makes others jealous B-D
4)a mind full of crushes and among them a few special ones to bug my mind when I'm not doing anything and even more when I'm trying to do something!!
5)the best gift from God,a bunch of lovely friends who patiently listen to my nuisance(again and again) without complaining.
There are three versions of me,
for the strangers,the rude,egoistic chick
for friends,a nice and sweet girl
and for my best friends,a species who is blessed with all sorts of mental disorders!!!


Well now if I start talking about my hobbies,in the formal sense I have none but otherwise eating,watching daily soaps and the real desi movies,crying,laughing,kidding,item dancing(in private) :P,screaming,day dreaming,checking out hot guys and yet to give a good impession,sometimes studying!!
Now lets go to the talent section(assuming that God was busy with something else when he had to gift me a special talent):
I give philosophical advice to each and everyone but when it comes to my own problems,I'm clueless.
I don't sing but when I do(and not only inside the bathroom),people stop their work and look at me :D..just to say SHUT UP!!! :P
I never went to an acting school and yet people call me drama queen!!
I talk a lot but I don't debate.
I'm a so-called bong nerd in school and a vella outside it..:D
Well I might sound too cool but in actual it is not so.This wild side of me is only known to my friends.I'm a shy underconfident girl who has big dreams though don't know how to achieve them,I believe in fairy tales and ideal love stories,just like any other girl i feel trapped in my world where escapism seems the best option.
I'm not perfect but yea I'm unique(perfect people don't exist,do they?)
I make mistakes,I get nervous,I feel weak,I lose myself and with these flaws my story begins....