17. "Happy times"

My Deary,

We should never be discouraged or disheartened by wretched times,desolate and dejected moments,because the best thing about all these pernicious parts of our life is that they will end someday and in that process they will make us realize the real worth of happiness...

After getting a taste of the real,harsh world,I decided to be a little serious about my life.So today I chose to stay home and study.Mom and Dad went to Delhi for a conference and I was all alone in my house.I kept my phone switched off.Today no facebook or whatsapp could stop me from achieving my goal and i did study a lot.It was in the evening when I heard a knock on the door.Its usually (or should I say all time when there's a knock on the door in spite of having a bell to ring) Arjun but today I was sure its not.But OMG,its HIM!!!!"Get lost fatty" was all I wanted to say but somehow I ended up saying,"Hey what's up?",in front of him..."and "I miss you like anything I love so much and be mine forever",in my head."Where the hell were you Debu??? what happened to your phone??You literally scared me,damn,I got so worried...",he started screaming.And I kept on staring at him."Anyways,get ready fast".I was confused,"For what?"."Now don't tell me you forgot",he gave me his adorable detective like look and I felt like kissing him right then :P I started thinking of every possibility.Did I forget my own bday??No way...umm not even Arjun's..."RADHIKA",I shouted."What??!!",he looked confused."Listen,its Dolly Didi's Sangeet tonight,so get ready fast",he pulled my cheeks(Blush blush)."Oh shit oh shit oh shit",I started jumping,"How will I get ready?? I Have nothing to wear and now I'm looking so terrible",I started panicking."Calm down Debu and close your eyes",he said softly cupping my face."Okayyyy....".He took my hand and put something on it."Woww..",I was almost in tears.It was a beige lehenga with red border,"SO BEAUTIFUL...",I was stunned."Your mom sent this specially for me??",I asked."No dummy,I bought it for you...for being a lucky charm to me".I couldn't help but hug him.He clenched me so tightly as if all he needed was me.I felt so loved and wanted.He didn't let me go and nor did I.For a moment I completely forgot about Cheryl,all I knew was this person belongs to me and he is mine,just mine,all rights reserved!!! "Sorry I'm late",Radhika's voice got us back to senses.She was in a blue lehenga and looking beautiful as ever."Whats going on?",I demanded."Arjun called me to get your hair and make up done.We all know how useless you are",She teased."HAHA,very funny.I'll be highly obliged if you do the honor quickly",I said sarcastically.And I was ready in no time.
Arjun kept on staring at me and said,"Radhika do you have a ring or something?"
"Huh??!!",we both were confused."Because if I don't propose this stunning woman right now then someone else will do it tonight..Debika..you have no idea how beautiful you are..."."I know I know.Now lets go Mr. Romeo or else we will be really late",we giggled.
We spent the entire evening dancing,eating,and talking about every good thing in life.No Cheryl,no drama,only love,friendship and a really good time.

So now I know life will be full of ups and downs and if we can take everything positively then this earth is a wonderful place to live on.

16. "Stay Strong"

My Deary,

Sometimes when we are very close to somebody and suddenly they start moving out from our way and everything becomes really difficult to manage,we realize how much we were dependent on that person and how miserable we can get when that person is not with us.But if we see it from the positive side,maybe this is God's way of teaching us to be self dependent and be strong enough to handle every situation alone.

FLASHBACK(The diary was with Radhika all the time,so couldn't write what was going on after I started falling for him...)

I started out my day with the thought of 'stay alone,stay strong' and somehow it made me feel better after so many horrible days of my life.Yes,Arjun is very much ignoring me!!!Its like I'm running after him and hes not even bothered to turn back and look at me.I understand he's an important part of school and I am not,so I'll better leave these busy people alone.Radhika is having some serious issues with her parents which I have no idea of so I don't want to bother her with my problem.I wish she knew how miserable I am and how much i need her...
And today the worst that I expected happened.Arjun is dating that mini botoxy and what's even worse??I got to know it from a junior!!!Pathetic!!this was the last thing I expected from him.No,I am not talking like a heartbroken admirer.This is what a best friend says..(If I ever was..) and now that we are not in good terms with each other(well I hate to say this),he looks even hotter!!
So what!!Even I have a lot of admirers.I can date anybody I want. Umm okay,this Vikram again asked me out(hes so shameless) and I've decided to go with him."NO NO,this is not any silly attempt to make Arjun jealous nor am I forcing myself",I tried to convince Savy but both of us know it is.But I have to move on and hope for a miracle to happen...

15. "This is me"

My Deary,

Be miserable or motivate yourself or do whatever has to be done,atleast it will always be your choice...and in life every single choice matters!

Its been a while but I guess I didn't wanna confront myself about the recent events in my life.
That evening Varun PROPOSED me.All I could do was be stunned at that moment.Although I knew about it earlier.I couldn't help but feel surprised. Finally when my silence was too much to bear,he said"so you don't like me?".I was still silent.I couldn't say anything, I turned away from him.But I didn't want to give him thoughts about rejection.So I told him"I need time Varun,that's all" and left.I called Debika and told her everything.Unfortunately,her phone was on speaker and Savy was with her. Savy was 100% confident about Varun. She felt I should not have missed  such an good opportunity. Debika knew I was not confident about it.She said "Varun is a great guy and we all know it ,do what you have to do,Radhika,you know better".Usually her advice used to give me direction but then I was still feeling confused.

The next day both my parents decide to ignore me as usual.I decided to bunk school that day.I knew Varun was a very genuine guy and he cared for me.But was I ready to jump into a relationship with him?!
Suddenly the  doorbell rang and there stood Anjali with a pile of notebooks.She came to give my homework.I asked her to stay for a while as we didn't catch-up since a long time.After talking to her,I realized something and knew about my decision,my choice.I asked Varun to meet me as soon as possible.

There he stood tensed up.I said "I like you,a lot..since that very first day I was paired with you for the project".He asked "but?". I hesitatingly answered "but being fond of each other is not enough for a relationship,not according to me,there has to be love".He  painfully said "and you don't love me!".I said "No..not yet but I am ready to fall in love with you,and I might in the future,but till then this can't work,I have seen Anjali and Aakash together,They broke-up cause they were never in love with each other and so are my parents!".He was still quiet."They are getting a divorce,and I still feel I don't know you enough,You alienate yourself when in pain,I can't handle that Varun,not in a relationship! but We still are friends and we never know it might be more than that in future "I said trying to justify myself."No! We can't be friends,not after this,everything has changed between us,you don't wanna be with me,fine!"he said angrily.And that has been our last interaction since a fortnight.He has been ignoring me since then.

My parents decided that I would be staying with mom.Instead of asking me,they just told me about their decision.I was sad that Varun misunderstood me completely but it was my choice atleast. I could own up to it.

Everybody must be wondering why according to me fondness,care is not enough for a relationship..cause I believe love is the one thing that keeps a person going,a relationship together,without it,we would have end-up just like Anjali and Aakash. Call me old school,but this is me!